after His heart: Communication time!

"I will exalt you Lord, for you lifted me out of the depths and did not let my enemies gloat over me. Lord my God, I called to you for help and you healed me. You, Lord, brought me up from the realm of the dead; you spared me from going down to the pit." -Psalm 30:1-3

I am confident that I am exactly where I am supposed to be. Sometimes it's hard, sometimes it's lonely, sometimes it sucks, but I can rest in the peace that God has provided, He has led me here, and He has plans for me that are far greater than anything I could concoct myself.

This is a complete roller coaster ride of emotions, one minute I am stoked beyond belief and having the time of my life, the next I'm hit with all the stuff I miss and all the things I feel like I'm giving up to be here. Sometimes it's insanely hot(actually it always is, but it only sometimes is irritating), sometimes air conditioning breaks, sometimes cockroaches run through your room, sometimes you're overwhelmed and have no idea what anyone is saying, sometimes things just aren't exactly what you need them to be, BUT our God is ALWAYS good. Every "sometime" that life ever brings cannot and will not defeat God and his never changing love for us.

After a difficult day yesterday of being frustrated with the "sometimes", after feeling the loss of all the people back home that I so dearly want to hold tight to but know I must let go for now, after being over heated, overwhelmed, and ultimately frustrated and angry, God provided me with His perfect peace and a little tough love. I am SOOOO blessed to be here, and must remind myself of that anytime I face frustration or think about myself. I am not here on a vacation, I am here to know God and make God known. Anyways, I was having a quiet time in the chapel last night and this woman introduced herself to me(quite randomly) and proceeded to say, DTS is going to tear you a part, it's gonna be hard, you are going to die to yourself and awake to the world, you are going to cry, and it's going to get ugly, BUT GOD IS GOING TO DO SUCH AMAZING THINGS IN YOUR LIFE AND THERE IS NO WAY YOU CAN EVEN FATHOM ALL THAT IT IS GOING TO BE. It was the perfect conversation, something I really needed, and it was totally from God. He is here, He is alive and He is aware of exactly what all of us need. He understands our fears, our pains and our frustrations more than we will ever understand ourselves, and He loves us and wants to make us feel better, but in that love, just like a earthly Father, He desires to push us out of our comfort zones so we might grow into the beautiful people He created us to be. How amazing is that? We are His masterpiece.

So yes, DTS is hard at times. I miss my dad. I miss my mom. I miss my little brother. I miss my close friends, my church, my small group, etc. But God has continually told me I have to let go, for 4.5 more months I have to continue to let go of everything at home that I want to hold onto at home, and yesterday I feel like the last tie was cut. It hurt, it was hard, and I got frustrated, but this morning I am refreshed, excited and I know that in all I sacrifice He will reward me in much more profound ways.
"...weeping may stay for the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning." -Psalm 31:5

Are you willing? Do you say yes? Is the sacrifice worth it?
As scared as I am, as difficult as it can be, I say yes. I say yes to God and all that He has. I lay down at the feet of my Lord and Savior and I say YES. What a terrifying and exciting thing to do.

Pray for me as I commit to fully dive into this experience.
Outreach location to be announced soon!
Pray for an open heart, and for a trust that no matter what team I am placed on that God is good, and His plan is perfect for each of us.

The options are:
Papua New Guinea (PNG) - Handing out medicine to eradicate LF from the nation.
New Zealand- report and recruiting regarding the works of the ship.
Darwin, Australia - doing community building in a poverty stricken area
Townsville/ PNG- this would be three weeks here at the base rebuilding the flats(living arrangements for families that live here) and than flying to PNG and boarding the ship to assist the medical teams.

I am not yet allowed to say what my preferences are because we are not wanting to affect eachother's decisions, but I do have a top 3 and am VERY passionate about my top choice. Hoping to get it, but also knowing that wherever I end up I belong, and I will be serving God and making a difference.

Thank you all for you consistent support in prayer and encouragement. I am blessed. I miss you!
Oh and thanks for 1000 page views on this blog! I feel SO LOVED!